I've always wanted to own my own bookstore/coffee shop, and this is what I want to call it. I actually hate cherries, except fresh Bing cherries. But honestly, a hot fudge sundae is not complete without a cherry. It's just that extra topping that makes it perfect. And that's what I want out of life...all the extras that God gives to make it "perfect" or at least a little closer to heavenly.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Encouragement in a New Light

Did anyone else watch Oprah today? I never, ever watch Oprah or Dr.Phil. I don't have the time, but today Brady was hungry and the boys were watching a movie. So I decided I would watch Oprah while I fed Brady. It was awesome. She was interviewing a man by the name of Greg Newman. He has written a book called The Truth About Cheating, in which he interviewed men of all ages. It was an eye-opener for me. According to his studies, 1 in 2.7 men cheat (Oprah rounded up to a whole man so 1 in 3 cheat.) The thing that surprised me most was the 92% of the men that cheated said that it was not about the sex. They said it was an emotional disconnection with their wives-- the lack of thoughtful gestures--that they feel taken for granted for things like going to work everyday. Doesn't that put the 30 days of encouraging our husbands into a different perspective?
Don't get me wrong. My husband is a wonderfully loyal man, but it made me realize even more that I need to take some responsibility in this. It is part of my job as his wife to ensure Lloyd's needs are met, not just physically and sexually, but also emotionally. (I think society has emphasized the sexual needs for a long time. Of course, it's extremely important but it's not the only thing...) We as women tend to assume that men are not emotional beings. They are, just not in the same way we are. One of the things Mr. Newman said today was that men desire to have those same feelings again that they had when they first got together with their spouse. I don't know about you, but there are times that I would love to have that goosebump, butterflies in my stomach just from being kissed feeling. Guess what? So do our husbands!
You know it's funny, but I think God may have been confirming through Oprah what He has been speaking to me. You know I started the 30 day encouragement challenge in August and I'm behind. But I've discovered on this journey other ways of encouraging my husband. It's made me more aware of the things I say and do and how they affect him. Like last night, Lloyd told me that he had really felt loved the past few days. Why? Because I've been doing something as simple as preparing his lunch b/c we're on the Sonoma diet. Then I got an email today talking about the differences between men and women and how they connect emotionally. Then I just happen to watch Oprah with the same basic thing--encouraging my husband shows him my love and keeps us connected which in turn keeps us happily married! Neat!
So my point is girls... keep encouraging your husbands! Tell them you appreciate them getting up and going to work every day. Tell them you love how they take out the trash, and mow the lawn, and play with the kids. Help them to feel loved, respected, admired, adored, etc.
I'll talk more about the sex side in my next blog! :)


robbieniccum said...

ok, not being cheesy, but a little bit of tear showed up with this blog, a happy one, I am so happy for you two!!!I love when pieces fall together and life becomes more peaceful!

you are going to bring out the board game aren't you???? can't wait for details!!! NOT!!! hahaha

Oliver said...

Of course I saw it! haah and I agree God does talk to you through Oprah! hahahaYou know I love Oprah!
It was very good-and what I love most about it its Real Not cheesy annoying do this do that because your "suppose to" but because you "want" to- Just the Facts-ya know!! I loved how he said it was about quantity not necessarly quality- Men are so simple arn't they!!

The Hamby's said...

Yes I watched it...and your blog was yet another confirmation in my heart to treat my husband as when we were first dating!!! HELLO!! Not doing that as of yesterday, but after watching OPRAH who "hears from God"....NOT...,I made a decision to make this HIGH PRIORITY!!! And, in return I'm hoping he will do the same. We have a good marriage, but in times like these (when life has taken on more responsibilites) these are the most important times to be extra positive and more encouraging, turning to one another for emotional support rather than (God forbid) someone else. Thanks Randi!.....and I don't even watch Oprah (b/c she's new age!!!!) ...but thanks Oprah.

2 Little Lights said...

Oh! I just love this. My husband always talks about the need for affection. I am so glad that you shared this with us and gave us a great pep talk to "Go get'em!!"

Hey, what did you make him for lunch...lol...had to ask:)

robbieniccum said...

that's so funny you ask Christina, I was curious also...

not just for lunch though...I always want ideas ; )

I made up my 1st meal just throwing in whatever...it was delicious!!!!
chicken breast cut up with lemon pepper seasoning, red, yellow, and orange sweet peppers, cut up asparagus, almonds, swiss cheese served on pasta with a little bit of butter, heavy whipping cream,and parm....oh my gosh people!!!!

this may not sound like a big deal but for those of you that know me,I FOLLOW recipes...if it calls for 1/8 tsp, I'm measuring and I never substitute ingredients because I don't know how...well, I'm getting better ; )